2 notes       July 16, 2014 @ 18:28      

I’ll go the the adult munch in my hometown for the first time today 

…and I don’t yet know what to think of it. I am expecting the worst, to be honest, but I’ll go because I promised my ex-flatmate that I’d come with her at some point.

What I’m afraid will happen is that practically everyone in this room will assume I’m a sub (because I’m a woman). This already happened to me with one of the male regulars whom I have met at my ex-flatmate’s birthday party. He kept ignoring my hints that I’m dominant and that was really annoying. Also, I’m in no mood for being hit on, just because I’m new and happen to be female. Ugh. But maybe I’ll have a great time anyways…let’s see.

#bits and bobs #please don't let it be annoying
      July 13, 2014 @ 11:38      

I went to the Schützenfest in Hanover yesterday. Me, a gay friend, his best friend plus her partner. We were quite the team! The Schützenfest in Hanover is supposed to be the biggest in the world and they have a gay people tent there (which I didn’t know) - so we obviously had to go there! It was a super awesome evening :)

The only problem was that I hadn’t eaten proplery yet and we couldn’t really find anything vegan. I didn’t care too much, though. I kind of feel like this whole veganism thing is helping me more than it is restrictign. I often feel overwhelmed when there’s too much different food I could buy…and end up buying nothing. Now I can just walk by and feel relieved because I don’t have to spend money on this (unhealthy) stuff. I ended up eating cotton candy, because I hadn’t done that in years. It was pretty disgusting, but fun to eat :D

#bits and bobs #vegan for fit
1 note       July 10, 2014 @ 22:27      

Ok, it actually took a lot of courage to upload these pictures. Above you see a pic of me that is about 5-6 years old and is the only pic I have where you can see what I looked like the past years.

Down below you see how I look now, after 2-3 years of more or less ongoing depression. Also, I stopped playing volleyball at about the same time my depression started to get worse (yeah there is a connection) because I have had so many injuries that I could’t keep on playing.

I have now reached a phase where I feel really really uncomfortable in my own body. I weigh about 13kg more than I used to, but my girth is what bothers me most. This is not the healthy, fit, sport-addicted young woman I used to be. This is not how I want to look. This is not how I want to feel.

And that’s why it’s time for action! I started the Vegan For Fit Challenge today, which will at least last 30 days. I have decided I want to try living on a vegan diet for several reasons and one bonus effect will hopefully be that I start to look like I used to do.

I am posting these pictures as a motivation for myself, to remind me how it used to be and how uncomfortable I feel now.

But it’s not just that I feel fat, I feel unhealthy. I have long ago stopped feeling fit. And that’s why I need to change something and I need to do it now.

It’s not even been a day and a lot of people already let me know that they want to help me and that they support my decision. I am really grateful for all my awesome friends and companions.

Let’s start this journey. And let’s hope that there’s a fitter, healthier me at the end :)

#vegan for fit #bits and bobs
7 notes       July 10, 2014 @ 00:04       Via(Source)

How I accidentally turned vegan (kind of) 



I watched a shitload about veganism and Attila Hildmann (a German dude you probably don’t know) and his Japan travels and now I think I accidentally turned into a vegan.

Initially, I only wanted to try his 30 day challenge because I wanted to lose weight and feel fitter in general. Now I kind…

*hugs* You do what’s right for you, boo, for the reasons that matter to you. I am 100% behind that, and totally proud of you.

(I could never be vegan, and yeah I occasionally butt heads with the militant/evangelical factions of veganism/vegetarianism, but not because of what they stand for, only when the way they promote it crosses an ethical line.)

Take care of yourself! <3

Thank youuuu :) Your support means a lot to me. I wasn’t sure whether I should blog about this decision ‘cause this topic can be quite controversial, but I feel like I can use a little help with the whole thing, especially during the first 1-2 weeks…It’s important for me to know there are people who accept and support my decision and are possibly able to kick my ass if necessary :D (also it’s public now so I would be much more embarassed if I didn’t succed :D)

#aaron #bits and bobs
7 notes       July 09, 2014 @ 23:53      

How I accidentally turned vegan (kind of) 

I watched a shitload about veganism and Attila Hildmann (a German dude you probably don’t know) and his Japan travels and now I think I accidentally turned into a vegan.

Initially, I only wanted to try his 30 day challenge because I wanted to lose weight and feel fitter in general. Now I kind of feel that it was only a matter of time before I turned vegan. I stopped eating factory farmed food a long while ago and almost never eat meat/fish (for precisely that reason). Cream cheese (and sometimes a little milk in my coffee) was the only thing left and you can easily use soy for that.

Once I started seeing myself as a Buddhist, I also started questioning the way I eat. I honor every living thing on this planet but I also felt that if someone else killed an animal and I would let the meat go to waste, then I would not honor the life of said animal (though I would/could never kill an animal myself, nor would I want an animal to be killed for me).

I guess my aversion to throwing food away will always have a bigger impact on what I eat, but I’m really willing to give a vegan diet a try.

However, I won’t turn into one of these “if you don’t do it 100% in every aspect of your life you’re not doing it correctly” kind of people, because they are annoying as shit. Every tiny step towards a more health/environment friendly way of life is a good step and should be supported and not slammed.

#bits and bobs #let's see how that goes #i also checked my weight today #and my body fat #and i was shocked #kummerspeck #also known as: depression makes you fat #or at least it made me fat
      July 07, 2014 @ 18:19      

I made my first jelly yesterday. I never did it before but it turned out super well! The one on top is a mixture between red and black currant and gooseberries. The one below is sour cherry.

Mhhhmmm :)

#bits and bobs
2 notes       June 30, 2014 @ 13:42      

Good times 

On my way to meer buckstabue with a bag full of delicious organic vegan baked goods :3
I can’t wait to see her again. We will be plotting to take over the world with our combined creative skills!

#bits and bobs #buckstabue
      June 26, 2014 @ 13:22      

What an exhausting day 

* four hours of subtitling French-German
* two hours of the most boring lecture imaginable
* two more hours of subtitling English-German

#kinky is doing university stuff she doesn't want to do #bits and bobs
2 notes       June 25, 2014 @ 20:54      


A few days ago, a friend came over for coffee. We’ve known each other for almost 10 years now and we talk about pretty much everything. She went through the whole “oh, I guess I’m super kinky” phase with me.

I told her about the weird emotional state I am in currently. I didn’t really know what was going on and was trying to figure it out and slowly, everything started to make sense. I recently posted another writing titled “an ongoing problem”, in which I incoherently switched back and forth between wanting to have sex and wanting to have a relationship. I couldn’t really put it all together, because I was never really sure what exactly was going on in my head (heart?) at that time. I only knew that something was missing. Or someone.

Said friend recently started dating someone and I am super happy for her. However, I guess this was the starting point of my confusion. Although she had had some relationships over the past years, none of them felt right…neither was she emotionally prepared for them nor did she particularly want them. Let’s just say, she was a bit “awkward” when it came to the whole relationship stuff. When she started dating and being in love and telling me how cute and awesome everything suddenly was, something inside of me probably went “oh…”; and here’s why:

She was my last single friend. During the past year, everybody around me entered a serious relationship (or had been in one for years already). And now, a few weeks ago, both she and another friend fell deeply in love with someone who seemed to be the perfect match for them. Not one of my real life friends is single anymore. Not even one. And for some reason, her having a serious relationship now – no matter how happy I am for her – is even worse than all the others together, because (for reasons that will be left unspecified) we both thought that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. Let’s just say it came as a surprise.

Once I made that connection in my head, we both thought back and agreed that my longings for certain things, like intimacy, neck kissing and such, started around the time she started dating. My entire social life now consists of spending time with couples. They’re all awesome and I love them dearly. However, this seems to have a greater impact on me than I would have thought.

Another contributing factor is that I am finally emotionally ready to let someone in my life (to be honest, I reached that stage about 1.5 years ago and then stumbled right into the arms of someone who left deep scars on my soul). For the first time in my life, I truly feel that I am fully emotionally capable of having a relationship and feeling (romantic) love and devotion for another person. Also, I’m in my mid-twenties now and the next few years will have a huge impact on my future in terms of where I will live, work and settle down.
When I was younger, I had always been sure that I would make these decisions together with another person. That, by now, I’d have met someone to share my life with. I’m still here, though, and I’m still alone.

And that’s why “alone” started to turn into “lonely” once my friend entered that relationship.

I guess my subconscious was at ease so long as there was this other person whose “problems” I shared. I can see more clearly now and I also know that – as much as I’d love to finally start with it and as much as I’m nervous about it – sex isn’t what’s bothering me and keeping me up at night. What I want, no, what I need right now is the true intimacy of a committed relationship. Having someone I can show stupid cat pictures I find on the internet. Truly loving someone. Grinning like a small child every time you have to think about them. Someone to share my obsessions with. Someone who makes me feel wanted, desirable (because although I know I’m awesome, where’s the fun if that awesomeness can’t be shared?).

I want someone to share my cookies with.

Do you like cookies?

#bits and bobs #the cookie reference is because i wrote this for fetlife and my nickname is cookiemonster
3 notes       June 23, 2014 @ 22:11      
I bought this super pretty and cool Slytherin-style necklace for almost nothing today!!
On my way to greatness, Slytherin for life.

I bought this super pretty and cool Slytherin-style necklace for almost nothing today!!

On my way to greatness, Slytherin for life.

#bits and bobs #slytherin #slytherin for life #harry potter